Doctor Aphra (Star Wars) | Kuhn, Sarah

Lange Beschreibung
Dr. Aphra teams up with Darth Vader himself in the original script to the audiobook production an expanded adaptation of the critically acclaimed Marvel comics series.

Dr. Chelli Lona Aphra, rogue archaeologist, is in trouble again.     
 
A pioneer in the field of criminal xenoarchaeology, Aphra recognizes no law, has no fear, and possesses no impulse control. To her, the true worth of the galactic relics she discovers is found not in a museum but in an arsenal. This viewpoint has led to a lot of misunderstandings. After her latest plan goes horribly wrong, Aphra s roguish ways are on the verge of catching up to her. That s when suddenly Darth Vader, terror of the galaxy, swoops in with his lightsaber and . . . saves her life?     
 
Don t get her wrong it s not like she s ungrateful. Sure, her new boss is a lord of the Sith. And okay, she may have just become a pawn in a deadly game being played by him and his boss, who happens to be the Galactic Emperor. And yes, the life expectancy of anyone who disappoints Vader can be measured in seconds.     
 
But she s back doing what she does best. She s got a ship to fly, a heist to pull, and two unorthodox but effective metal buddies: Triple-Zero, a protocol droid specializing in etiquette, customs, translation, and torture; and BT-1, an astromech loaded with enough firepower to take down a battlecruiser. Together, they might just find a way to get the job done and avoid the deadly performance review that waits at its conclusion.
 
Just kidding. She s doomed.

Buchausschnitt
NARRATOR:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. . . .

CUE THEME

SCENE 1. INT. THE ARK ANGEL. SOMEWHERE IN THE OUTER RIM.

APHRA:

Begin recording.

APHRA (narration):

The first thing you need to know: This time I m dead. Definitely, definitely dead.

I ve almost died before. So many times. More lives than a tooka-cat, that s how Sava Toob-Nix used to describe me. And this story, the one that ends with me definitely dead . . . it all starts with one of those times I almost died.

So let s begin there.

We hear the blasts and explosions of a truly epic space battle perhaps a bit exaggerated in its epicness because this is the story as Aphra s telling it, and she is nothing if not over the top.

APHRA (narration):

Imagine it: the most epic space battle you ve ever seen. Lasers! Explosions! Things that go pew-pew! And right in the middle of it all, our intrepid heroine that s me! Doctor Chelli Lona Aphra. Rogue archaeologist, weapons expert, droid reactivator extraordinaire . . . and did I mention she is also extraordinarily beautiful? Raven tresses . . . that are usually a tangled mess, because they re stuffed under a very stylish aviator cap, complete with rakish goggles. Brown eyes that spark yes, spark! with a yearning for adventure. Intriguing electro-tattoos running down her right arm foolish, youthful mistake, or sign of an irrepressible daredevil? That s none of your business!

Let s join her as she makes her grand escape from a gang of nefarious pirates trying to gun down her glorious ship, the Ark Angel!

A particularly loud boom! as Aphra s ship is hit.

APHRA:

Dammit . . . hyperdrive down, life support hit. Okay . . . okay . . . that s fine, nothing to worry about. Activate auxiliary systems and get the crew working on it right away!

A beat as she realizes she s talking to herself.

APHRA:

Oh, right. There are no auxiliary systems. And I don t have a crew. Time to get creative . . .

The ship s comm beeps with an incoming transmission.

MAZ KANATA (on comm):

Doctor Aphra! Surrender the valuable artifacts you have stolen from us and we will leave you and your ship be and continue on our way!

Aphra speaks to Maz as she tinkers furiously with her ship s control panel, trying to buy time.

APHRA:

Heeeey, Maz Kanata! Always an honor to speak to the galaxy s most and I mean most legendary pirate queen! I can t tell you the number of times I ve dreamed of this moment, just the two of us on a comm while trying to shoot each other into the Void. I can t imagine why you re shooting at li l ol me, though, I swear you ve got the wrong girl

MAZ KANATA (on comm):

Spare me your legendary and I mean legendary falsehoods, Aphra, we know you have the antique stealth microdroid dust

APHRA:

You wound me with these accusations!

MAZ KANATA (on comm):

My crew went to great lengths to secure an artifact so valuable, and you, no doubt, are planning on doing something extraordinarily stupid with it

APHRA:

What, like use it?

MAZ KANATA (on comm):

Exactly.

APHRA:

Okay. Now this is getting downright personal. Is there no sisterhood among rogues anymore? Tell ya what, why don t we settle in at one of those backwater holes you love so much, have a drink, talk this out like the proper ladies we are

Another boom rocks Aphra s ship. Her tinkering gets even more furious, more desperate.

APHRA:

That was very unladylike, Maz.

The Ark Angel lets out a series of frantic beeps.

APHRA:

Now my life support&rsquo